


flowers

by aislingdoheanta



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Gen, M/M, Missing Scene, Sort Of, aaron is not handling it well, but he is trying, robert is in prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21512677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: Aaron brings flowers to Sarah’s grave for Robert and has a little chat.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle & Sarah Sugden, Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Posted originally to my [tumblr](https://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/post/189113977177/flowers-aaron-sarah-robertaaron)

Aaron woke up like he had every morning the last month: alone. If his family was around, he’d say he’d gotten used to it and that it barely hurt anymore to not wake up in the middle of the night from a kick to his shin or waking up with Robert practically on top of him. He’d be lying, but he’d say it. 

Truth was, he wasn’t used to and dreaded the day that he would be; dreaded the day when he’d eventually realize he’d been sleeping without Robert for longer than he had with him. But he was numb, numb to the pain, to the grief, to the loss; numb to everything and honestly it was better this way. 

Because if he felt it, _truly_ felt it and had to deal with it all alone, he didn’t know if he’d be able to survive it. 

Aaron reached over to grab his phone and his eyes glazing over the photo of him and Robert still set as his background. There was a notification from his calendar: Sarah — Flowers. 

Aaron swallowed and stared at the bright screen. He didn’t remember putting that in his phone—was it there last year? Robert’s mum meant so much to him and Aaron would never take it out on her that he was furious with Robert. 

He made up his mind without really thinking about. Only twenty minutes later, he stood beside Sarah’s grave, flowers in hand, and felt like he was intruding, like he shouldn’t be here. Did he even have the right to be here without Robert?

Aaron gently leaned the flowers against the headstone. He stood back and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Robert would be here himself… if he could and all,” Aaron said quietly. He’d never really spoken to Sarah before. “I know he’d want to make sure you had flowers today.” 

Aaron felt tears burn his eyes and the numbness disappeared for the briefest of moments. 

“He’s… I don’t know how he is, so I can’t even tell you that. He cut off contact from me.” Aaron wiped at his eyes. 

“He’s doing his best to cope, but I know he’s suffering right now. I can _feel_ it and I can’t do anything about it.” Aaron let out a deep breath. “I hate the idea of him feeling like he’s got to do this alone. If I hadn’t have had him when I was banged up…”

Aaron hesitated. He wanted to ask her to watch over Robert for him, but couldn’t bring himself to ask her that. “He could probably use ya, if you can keep an eye on him. I don’t know that you can or anything.”

Aaron cleared his throat. “Sorry. I’m not really sure what else to say. I’ve never been good at these things, knowing what to say and all.” 

Aaron wiped at his eyes again. “I promise ya that I’d be there for him if he let me. I wouldn’t have abandoned him. I don’t know what he’s thinking and I’m furious with him, but I’d have never just left him like this. I don’t know if it means anything to you cause I should have done more for him while he was outside, been there more, supported him, protected him like he’d done for me. And I hate that he’s sat in there thinking that I might not care about him, love him enough to wait.

“It’s useless now, this promise,” Aaron said. “But it just felt important that you know that.” 

He hesitated for another few seconds before walking out of the cemetery, every step from Sarah’s grave leading him further back into the haze of the numbness that had become his life.


End file.
